Social Anxiety

Having social anxiety means living your life with fear of everyday, normal activities. It means simply asking questions or simple greetings with strangers make your heart rate catapult enough to win the Olympics. You fear eating in public places so instead of enjoying those supposedly scrumptious restaurant food you prefer eating microwaved food at home. You fear walking inside a room packed of people as you feel their eyes all over you. You worry about your appearance because if you look worse than your usual get-up your anxiety will worsen. You fear answering that damn telephone because you don't want to end up talking to a stranger and you'll worry sounding weird. When you want to look for a shop just asking one sentence to a person nearby magically makes your palms clammy. You fear public transportation moreover when you're alone. Even if you knew the answer to the teacher's question in a discussion you don't raise your hand. You say 'shit' when the teacher decides that you answer the question. Your trembling hands when you report a topic in front of everyone. Let alone you initiate a conversation to a complete stranger whom you want to be friends with. If you fail to do so, you will beat yourself up and analyse your past actions. How you dread parties and family gatherings because you're afraid of the judgements you might hear. How you look so shy and extremely feminine talking to a person you're not comfortable with. You smile and you smile a lot.. not having any idea what to say or do. You get misunderstood by people. People take advantage of your timidity; verbally abusing you in your face and saying how fake you are. How your mind still processes when someone tries to verbally attack and you find yourself stuttering to make a witty comeback. You end up being a pushover because in the end; you greatly care about what they think.